what i have learned about the dangers of going from friends to lovers is that when you’re friends you can be at a level 10 with a person but then when you enter that romantic space, that area of a person’s life, psyche and emotion, you can easily find yourself at a level 4. you realize that in many ways you have to re-prove yourself. things that weren’t issues before suddenly become issues because we now occupy a different area in that person’s mind and heart. in this new area there are specific fears, hurts, traumas, expectations, misconceptions and etc that must be dealt with that didn’t have to be when you were only friends. this is difficulty; this is the whole challenge of going from friends to lovers and most of the time the reason why it fail. there is an expectation that all of the benefits, all of the trust that was built up in the friendship portion of your time together will just carry over to this new arena and the only new thing will be that you have sex and hold hands. however when that carryover doesn’t happen, feelings are hurt, illusions of shattered and generally everything is lost.
dglspl (via dglsplsblg)