Modern masculinity seems to mean being damn brilliant at everything. All the time. Serenely. The pressure to earn a crust may well be shared, but ditto housework and childcare. He must also ooze style, run ultramarathons, text back promptly, marinate, marvel at Strictly, open jars, crack funnies, know cool music, smell good, work tech devices, pick up his socks and, if necessary, chop wood.

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